Feb
18 by Shawn K Categories :
Rural America 0 Comments

Small Town Outsiders: Embrace The Change

By now, you’ve probably read the story of the Tristani family, who are ready to leave Small Town, USA, just 4 years after moving there. I strongly suspect there’s a lot more to the story than what is being told though. Were there people in Hazelton, ND, who were unwelcoming to this very strange family from South Florida? Certainly. Were there some in Hazelton who were warm, cordial, and glad to have new people in town? More than likely. Are elderly parents one of the reasons they’re moving back to Miami? Yes.

Yet, there are some things that we can all take to the bank from this story. Small Town people are notoriously resistant to change, after all, this town was fine when their kids were in high school 40 years ago, and it isn’t dead yet, so surely everything is fine, right?

Old History

Small towns across the USA are a tightly knit group. They’ve been around each other for a long time, have a plethora of inside jokes, know each others extended families, and know what topics around town just don’t get talked about. New people upset the balance they are accustomed to. They don’t laugh at jokes when everyone else does, constantly ask who you’re referring to, and cause quite a disturbance when they ask why you don’t change something. You probably should change something, but you’re dug so far into your rut that you don’t know it.

Different Lifestyle

When you leave one part of the US, and move to a completely different part of the US, don’t expect to fit in. The midwest isn’t known for being flashy. Guys are more likely to wear flannel and drive a pickup than to sport a rolex and cruise in a luxury car. Ladies are more likely to wear tight jeans and a close fitting shirt than to walk around in a mini skirt and exposing most of the skin above their waist. There are definitely exceptions, but when you roll into town, don’t be surprised if you’re a culture shock.

New Activities

While the larger towns may feature bars that often have live bands and lots of dancing, clubbing isn’t something that we tend to have as an option. Small Town, USA, is more likely to find a large crowd at the football game Friday night, a party at an old farm yard or river bend, driving around (quite possibly mud running), or chilling in a friend’s basement. There’s really no shortage of things to entertain yourself with, we’re just more likely to create it than just stroll in somewhere, expecting everything to already be ready to go for a good time.

All Small Towns Are Not Created Equal

When Hazelton offered lots and cash to move there, and more incentives to open a business there, it was a bold move. When a town stubbornly resists change it’s like rolling over with a whimper and playing dead, until somebody realizes you’re only pretending and finishes you off. I wish my hometown would try something as audacious as providing incentives to move there. Bigger towns frequently roll out the tax breaks and other perks to attract businesses. Small towns need to realize a business with tax breaks gets you more money than no business.

It’s very possible that there are much more friendly towns than Hazelton, but I guarantee there are also less friendly towns. I’ve done a little work in Hazelton, I’ve hung out with people from Hazelton. I even spent a year in Iraq with a Hazelton native. They’re good people, hard working folks who get the job done and go home to their families at night. Could they do more to be more open and inviting to new people? Well, couldn’t every small town? Couldn’t every family? Couldn’t their next door neighbor?

The fact remains that no matter where you go, there will be some unfriendly people. If you quickly adapt to the new culture, that will go a long way towards your acceptance. Not that you should have to change, diversity is good for any town. But if you have a fancy car and wear a lot of flashy jewelry in a town dominated by agriculture, you might want to at least tone it down a notch. Besides, don’t you tend to dress a little differently when you go on vacation?

Perhaps we should all consider forming a welcome wagon committee, meeting monthly to dream up new ways we can be more inviting and helpful to new families. In the past 15 years my hometown went from having its own school to sharing resources with the next town to shutting down our school when we merged with the other town in the county. One county, from 3 schools to 1, and the discussion continues for how long they’ll be able to do that until they must merge with yet another school. Can we afford to be the reason people don’t stay?

Help them unpack. Invite them over for dinner. Embrace their diversity while helping them acclimate to your culture. Show them around town. Encourage them to get involved with local organizations. Don’t make national news for being unfriendly. Whether you actually are isn’t known to me, but it’s the kind of bad press that’s hard to overcome.