Recent weeks have found me doing a lot of reflecting. 2023 was a challenging year in a good way. There have been a lot of years where I felt stuck for any number of different reasons or had health issues, or the world felt like it was coming down around us. Those were challenges that any of us could grow from, but 2023 has the feeling of a year that began propelling me into whatever the Lord might have ahead.
Cleaning Up.
Whether it’s stuff I no longer need, clearing out files from the computer, or purging messages from email inboxes, I’ve come across many things that call back old memories. Some are reminders of where I was versus where I am now. It’s easy to get mired in the day’s activities and lose sight of things, but our history reminds us of personal growth. Some memories are better than others, but they all contribute to who we are today. In particular, I’ve been trying to tidy up and reign in social media accounts and contact lists. In that, I find names of people I don’t remember and many names of people I haven’t interacted with in years but were there at pivotal moments. Many people have opened doors to do unique things, and I’m thankful for them.
Friends.
I have been fortunate to have many friends in my years of life. Sometimes, I’ve needed them in tough times, and they’ve come through for me. This year, Tiah and I have been able to come through for some people. Some have needed a place to stay for a time, some have required a listening ear, and some just needed to know they have people in their corner. I hope we can continue to be a safe space for people in whatever they are going through, in good times and bad. And if we should need help, people will rally around us.
Family.
Sometimes you love them, sometimes you hate them. Sometimes, they’re a positive influence; sometimes, a little distance gives you a clearer perspective on some less-than-healthy traits they have. I am a firm believer that everyone should have roommates during their lives. It’s best to realize that your family is crazy before you get married; roommates help expose that. Spoiler alert: Just because your family does something a certain way doesn’t make it normal. Now, we can have family gatherings combined with the different flavors of crazy from who your siblings marry or what your extended family brings in. But sometimes family is just what we need to clarify something or bring you back to earth. They do know us better than anyone else.
New Chapters.
I’ve been away from my childhood home for a long time, but it feels different now. My parents decided to move this past year and are now semi-retired. Incidentally, I returned home for a class reunion on the day they last left the house. It was an evening with many memories as I thought about growing up there, and looked across the street to the church I grew up in and all of the impact in my life from the people there. (Never forget, small churches often set the foundation, for better or worse, of many people working in large ministries later in life.) Our class reunion was just a small group of us, and seeing those who made it was great. There’s still a chunk of people I haven’t seen since I went to Iraq that I’d love to catch up with, though many swore they’d never come back to that small town. Even if I make it back even less now, it will still be home.
Work.
Most of my professional life has been in ministry, and that’s a real blessing. Every place I’ve worked at, volunteered, or consulted has brought me something of value that I still use today. At the same time, a thought has been solidifying as I reflect upon those stops: “No ministry is perfect, but you don’t realize the extent of that until you’ve worked in more than one.” Maybe you can say that about any job, but it seems like church jobs are held in a regard where everything is done better than in a corporate setting, but that isn’t reality.
Many churches are full of people with a heart for ministry but are ill-equipped to lead the people they work with. This can lead to a laundry list of problems, many of which are a slow burn that will take years or even decades to manifest while frustrating their best employees. I am so blessed to be amongst leadership that isn’t perfect but admits that. I may not agree with everything they decide, but their track record and willingness to listen to (and take action on) feedback earn a lot of grace from my doubt.
There is great freedom in working with people who listen to you (don’t forget the take action part), and even when the budget is tight, we are looking at the big picture and what we need to do to continue moving the ministry forward. There are a lot of hard choices here, but we see results and growth as we let the Lord leverage everything He has blessed us with for His kingdom work. Also, when your Lead Pastor sets a standard of working ahead, it is much easier to do things with excellence, creativity, and an ability to stretch the budget.
Advice For Lessons Learned.
Maybe you’re frustrated in your job. If that feeling doesn’t go away and burns at you week after week, the Lord might be telling you it’s time to move on. I’ve been there more than once. Sometimes, I didn’t want to leave what “I” had built. I had seen other people go and watched things fall apart behind them when other people didn’t want to maintain the level of excellence that had been established. Or I didn’t want to leave behind people that had become good friends. Or I didn’t want to recognize that while the work there was not done, mine was. Maybe you need to leave to create the opportunity for a new changemaker to come in. Maybe the Lord has something for you that you won’t see coming. My voice might not be what you need to hear, but I’m giving you permission to step out of where you are and wait for what the Lord has for you next.
Maybe you need a new physical location. I’ve spent a long enough time in different places to know the value of a change in scenery. Perhaps you’ve never lived away from where you grew up. Maybe you need a new circle of friends. Perhaps you want a spouse, and it just isn’t happening for you. Maybe you’ve been through some things and need a fresh start. It could be a combination of things. Parents can offer a particular safety net, but it can be healthy for you and them to have some measurable distance between each other, not merely a couple of towns over. You might be trying to move your life forward amidst a group of friends stuck in the past or bad habits. The person of your dreams might live in a different state. Life may have thrown you some curveballs, leaving bad memories when you look around you. Whatever is happening in your life, I’m not just giving you permission but encouraging you to leave your bubble and experience life somewhere new. Maybe you’ll come back someday, but a new life perspective could be just what you need.
Some of you reading this might feel there’s more to life. Maybe you feel empty, and your soul longs for more. I doubt anything I write here today will fill that void for you, but I might know what you’re looking for. Find a church that welcomes you in (some are more welcoming than others), and attend regularly. If you’re nervous about just showing up, watch online first. I think we at Ransom have a lot to offer you, and I will encourage anyone to watch, but church is best done in community with each other, side by side, face to face.
Our Lives.
This is our third year at Ransom. Bismarck and the jobs we had offered a lot of steps forward for us, but there were also things holding us back. After cancer and then the changed world during Covid, we felt the Lord distinctly call us to something new, somewhere new, with new people. It was a little scary, and we still wrestled with the decision, but it’s one of the best things we’ve done. Don’t fear that next step wherever you are in life. Those things that keep nudging at you, that repeatedly don’t break your way, the things that scare you, might be the Lord inviting you to something greater. I’m glad we followed His lead, and whatever He is propelling me towards now, I’m excited to see that fruit.
Through the leadership I work with today, the speakers I’ve heard at conferences, and the nudges I’m feeling in my life, I think there is growth to come, not just in me but amongst the team I work with at Ransom. We’re getting ready to springboard into an exciting new chapter. This past year, we had an All-Staff Meeting where we discussed using the slow times to prepare for movement. I feel like it’s been slow for a bit, and the wave is coming.
Thank you for all the prayers you have thought of us these last years. The notes of support, the questions about how something went, we appreciate that interest in what the Lord is doing here. If you feel led to contribute financially to the work being done here, there is a giving link at Ransom.church you can use to support the ministry growth that is happening. Ransom is setting captives free, and playing a small part in it is great.